Me and Miss Universe

Wellington, New Zealand. 1992. There were four of us, all males in our twenties and thirties, in front of a large TV, waiting for a special event any normal male would love to watch.

The 1992 Miss Universe contest.

In the first few hours, I really had good time watching the beautiful contestants sashaying the stages, pouting and smiling for the cameras, displaying their feminine curves and captivating faces. Most beautiful creatures of the world, lovely to see.

It was in the middle of the bikini showing that suddenly I felt something strange.

Suddenly I felt I wanted to puke. Seeing those ladies in two-piece bathing suits, displaying their boobs and buttocks and legs and thighs, trying to win the judges’ scores, suddenly I felt like watching a parade of cows. Those bare flesh, those titillating looks, those fake smiles, one after another, . . . slowly but surely turned my stomach. . .

I felt sorry for these young sexy girls. How pathetic. They had to display their physical beauties to win the world’s acknowledgement of their mundane qualities. True, they claimed to compete on several inner qualities, too; but still, this more positive aspect is downplayed by the bikini display, which is no more than an exhibition of nice, tight, and smooth pieces of flesh. It was good sight for sore (male) eyes, but a bad potion for my stomach. I couldn’t help feeling a bit disgusted.

So that’s it. The bikini display was still underway, but I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had enough. So I left the show, straight to my room to read newspapers.

Miss Universe contest, or any other beauty pageant that extols women’s physical beauty, has no longer appealed highly to me ever since. I’d rather see women who strike the right balance between maintaining their good looks and enhancing their inner qualities, sashaying across the hall, acting as if there were no males around, but beguiling enough to hold me spellbound. That way, they look much more respectable.

Miss Understanding rocks!!


puke = muntah
pathetic = kasihan
sashay = berjalan melenggang
pouting = setengah mencibir; memajukan bibir
extol = memuja
mundane = dangkal
beguiling = misterius
titillating = pandangan menggoda


  1. You went as far as putting a glossary up haha

    Hmm, I’m kinda thinking.. bet those males would think, “Patris isn’t normal”, wouldn’t they?
    Not that I know, but I often hear males say that to other males who are not AS interested AS they are in such things *shrug* 😛

    • I’m still normal as far as hormone and libido are concerned, but i’d rather channel them to a decent being in a decent manner; and, to me, getting a hard on when seeing those boobs and thighs being displayed purposefully is not decent.

      Thanks, Feli.

  2. Hahaha okay, well said, I suppose :DD
    The world might as well be a better place were all men think like you.

    Haha I’ll take that as a compliment 🙂

    • Feli,

      Iya; tapi bukan berarti saya nggak suka ngeliat orang cantik lho. Masih suka, asal jangan dibuat menjadi murah meriah; kesannya kayak jualan daging, deh; yah, I’ve said all that on my “Bimbo”

      Thanks, Feli!

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