You can’t help falling in love with somebody.
Try to resist, and you’d find yourself exhausted. Because of the society norms, because of your reputation, because of your position, there are many times when you wrestle with this feeling. You can’t deny it, but somehow you have to conceal it. You struggle desperately to forget the person, only to find that she or he comes back again and again in your mind. Isn’t that torturing?
You will find yourself give a long look at your sleeping spouse or fiancée or sweetheart, asking yourself a question you can hardly answer: “Why should I fall in love with someone else? Aren’t you the most gorgeous person I have been granted with?”
It is sad to know that your heart knows no boundaries. If your heart can love someone, once it senses a nice match and the right chemistry in someone else, it will fall for him or her. Of course you can react to it, and the reactions depend very much on how strongly you can resist the feeling and finally pull yourself away from the temptation. But only very few can do that successfully.
Who will you fall in love with? Your student? Your married lecturers? Your mentor? Your colleagues? Your bosses? Your subordinates? You can never tell. It’s like itch: you never know when and what part of your skin becomes itchy. Maybe it’s the smiles, maybe it’s the attention from the person, maybe it’s the interests that you share in common, maybe it’s because he is simply gorgeous!
It’s lucky that our society has set up barriers that keep us from becoming promiscuous rabbits. We have labels: lecturers, students, colleagues, servants, superiors, subordinates. Somehow these statuses have helped us filter our affection and express it properly according to the prevailing norms and culture.
You are given this guideline: keep the lines parallel! Two parallel lines are very close to each other, but they will never touch each other; they will run parallel to each other, very close, but never coming into contact with one another, until eternity.
So, you set out to apply this: you build and maintain a very close relationship with your students, or your colleagues, or your superiors that you like. You are very, very cautious all along the way that you cannot go further than keeping the lines parallel. You know there are times when you are tempted, but no, no, you resist it, you carry on, keeping the lines parallel, never touching each other . . .
Until one day you suddenly find yourself alone with the person you like. No closed circuit TV, no social control, no one else but you two, and before long you get drowned in the eye contact, your hand and his or hers get locked in one warm clasp, followed by a touch on the warm, wet circles of your lips which soon grows into deep tonguing of your mouths, and then a moment of passionate silence that sweeps both of you into an indescribable bliss . . .
You have failed. . .